111 days to go

Well this week has been hectic. Work, revision, discussions with teachers… I’ve barely had time to think, and when I do, I just feel so desolate that I cannot bear doing anything at all. But all that is changing. As spring truly blossoms, so does my new found determination. Spring always brings hope, and for me it’s bringing the promise of brighter days and future endeavours. Yes, school is so hard, but it’ll be worth it, and that’s what I keep forgetting. It’ll be worth it. It’ll be worth it. IT’LL BE WORTH IT. Just think of those days to come, lying on the silver sand on a beach in Malaysia or Thailand, listening to the wind batter the house as I’m cosy and warm, inside with a hot chocolate on a cold Iceland evening. I dream of the future and I dream that my dreams will be more than that.

Now the winter is over, the buds of blossom are appearing, and the lambs and of course, the superstores are starting to sell easter eggs. Lent started two weeks ago and seemed to pass by without me noticing. Well for Lent this year I shall try to remember the beginning of Lent next year, so goals can be set. Who knows where I’ll be this time next year, and with whom… It’s so utterly indescribably exciting to think that next year is all mine, no one else’s. I can do what I want, go where I want and just burn the candle at both ends until I am exhausted and satisfied and content.

A cold, crisp Friday evening and the restlessness returns… Today I have battled my old foe with a run, there’s something about running in the cold that is exciting and mischievous. Your hands and face are freezing, numb, but your breath and body is warm. Your breath is the dragon’s smoke, billowing out into the dark night air. Somehow the run has soothed me, and I know I will sleep well tonight. At the end of a challenging week I just know that things will definitely be okay, they may not get any better for a while, but they must eventually get better. And I look forward to that very much. I know it’ll all be worth it.

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